Awkwardness/confidence: dream 6

What does it mean to be awkward? A Google search will tell us that it means to be “causing or feeling embarrassment or inconvenience.” For the longest time, I would be described as socially awkward, and I’d interpret that as being weird and funny; generally, quirky. Even in a previous post, I assumed that you can be comfortably awkward around true friends; obviously, I meant to say quirky, not awkward. Friends would not make you feel unaccepted, uncomfortable, or like you are an inconvenience. Friends, you can be quirky, comfortably in your own skin, and just exuding of confidence.

Being confident for me means that you can be strong for yourself, even when nobody else is. It’s hard to do that at times, when you feel alone, isolated, or outnumbered when it comes to people who believe in you. I had to fight through a lot of self-doubt and anxiety to be a confident individual. Whenever I step in front of a crowd of people, I have to ignore that fear of people looking through me, and only seeing me for my awkward childhood. That fear of being awkward, it’s a constant battle between trying to be confident, not awkward. To feel like my existence serves a purpose, rather than creating a burden.

I wish I never had to worry about being awkward. I would rather everyone just be equally confident, but not try to treat each other in a condescending way, just because they act or think differently. Everyone should be entitled to their own opinions. I obviously say that with the exception of people who strongly believe in extremism or sadism, because in almost any situation, those things are obviously not going to help the world in any way, and I don’t want the internet trying be a smart-ass with my words and try misquoting me. Sorry, snarky moment there.

The real question for me is why can’t we all be confident? Why can’t we just be happy with ourselves and believe in the purpose our individual existences provide the world? Without every person here, we could not function as a species. We wound not be able to move forward so easily. The only reason we have for feeling awkward is that we let the opinions of others weigh us down. While yes, if others dislike you for being rude or selfish, that is something to think about, but if they just call you weird (assuming you’re not like a pedophile, furry, cannibal, or something along those lines of extremeness), then you really just need to ignore them. Feel confident, not awkward. That’s how you can really enjoy your life that much more.

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