Adjourning is a term I learned in business school, specifically when I took the organizational behavior course. It is the end of the team building process, where team members go their separate ways after completing a goal or a project. Adjourning itself can take many forms. It can end peacefully, with members wanting to stay in touch. Or it can end poorly, and everyone would want out of interaction as soon as possible.
Teammates aren’t the only groups of people that can adjourn. Friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends, roommates, they can all adjourn too. For me, the closer I am to a person, the harder adjourning is. That’s natural. You’ve reached a certain routine with that person, so separating is hard. With my most recent roommate situation, adjourning was painful. I had become so used to living and caring for this person, whether they appreciated that or not is another thing, and having to move out of the apartment because of how bad our situation wound up, it hurt. Even when I came back to grab my stuff, and to see that my roommate took their name tag off our door, and even packed up their own stuff, it made me sad.
For those of you who are wondering what the entire situation was, we shared an apartment-dorm in college, and then us living together had horrendous mental and emotional tolls, resulting in me trying to kill myself and them basically becoming an unresponsive shell of a human being. Even though living together was taxing, because we had adjusted to such a routine, and because we did care about each other a lot, that’s what made adjourning so hard, even though we both knew it was for our own goods.
Being sentimental, in my eyes, it really makes the adjourning process that much more painful than it needs to be. My suggestions is find new ways to move on and forward. New hobbies, new friends, just find something to distract yourself. For me, I took on singing, writing, and krav maga. Yeah, I’m learning Israeli karate, because it’ll be a good distraction from life. Focusing on the aspects of life worth caring about, and focusing on what you do have, and what you can have with a little hard work, and not what you have had, that’s how you can put the pain of separating behind you. I find it hard to cope with adjourning, but if I keep walking down the path that I am, which is finding new opportunities and things to immerse myself in, then I know that one day, I can really feel feather-light.