Being alone. Yeah, we finally get around to talking about this. What makes this more of a dream post than a realization is that it speaks more to taking isolation and making it an opportunity, rather than just being a self reflection on being lonely and how to overcome that. That being said, solitude. Just being alone can be very difficult for people. But as an introvert, I thrive on it. I need time alone just to recharge, relax, and really grow. And to truly be alone, I need myself to be my sole concern and thought. To reach that state, it requires a lot of isolation. I just feel so empowered in my little bubble.
When there is nothing else around, I can finally take a moment to think about myself, my needs, my wants. While yes, having the company of others is nice and appreciated, being alone is really how I thrive and grow. When I am with other people, I am so distracted by their problems and lives that I cannot focus on my own at all. Their needs consume and overtake mine. I cannot love others and myself at the same time. I always put others first when it comes to my attention and time.
There is a point where it is okay to be selfish. It is okay to want something for yourself. In this case, I think time and space are very important. I need time and space for myself so that I can relax. When I am relaxed, I see the world in a different way. I can truly begin to appreciate the beauty around me, learn new things, and develop more as a person through gaining this additional perspective. My biggest source of happiness comes from walking on the beach… alone. Yeah, it sounds like an e-harmony profile gone wrong, but it’s the truth. I need to be alone so that I can enjoy the view and the sensations. When I am with other people, I get nervous for their safety, self-conscious about how I am presenting myself, and the entire experience becomes that much more different.
Being alone, soaking in the solitude, that’s how I continuously learn more as a person. I can ask myself what I really want from life, and what it is that I really love to do. Being able to escape from reality, it gives me the clarity to find those answers. I don’t have to be distracted with that class assignment or those job applications or paying my rent. My only concern in those moments is me as a person. I can give my life more purpose and reason.