Honesty: dream 14

I wish there was a world where we could just speak our minds, and not be reprimanded or hurt others. I wish we could communicate what we are thinking about without fearing how other people would react. Why is it that we cannot be free to do that? Why can’t I say to let’s say, a hypothetical employer if I don’t appreciate the way they treat me, and not be fired for it? Hierarchy, stress, perception, logic, all needed for this world to function. Also all reasons why we cannot just speak from the heart all the time.

Going back to the employer example. I actually had a boss, a sous-chef, who told me that I was shit and that I should just leave his kitchen. Now, had he not been my boss, it would have been very easy to tell him that he was being rude, condescending, and not at all encouraging. Obviously, I’m a human being, so if I was speaking from the heart, I would have said that with a lot more cuss words, but it would have been to that general effect. In this case, hierarchy protected him from me being able to speak my mind; fun fact, I quit the next day, because I just preferred to not deal with him at all. That was the passive aggressive way to approach the situation: running away. It still goes to show, I acted in my own complete detriment, and could not be honest in the way I acted. I should have at the least spoken to him, one on one, telling him how his words hurt me, and that I would try harder in the future.

As somebody who has been hurt by another’s perceptions and truths, I can speak to how I wish those words could have not hurt me. That I could understand their fear, uncertainty, appreciate their bravery for saying the truth to me, rather than just get immediately hurt and retaliating. That sort of defensiveness, I wish I could just rid myself of it. I am embarrassed to have these sort of sensitive emotions, because they hinder my ability to act maturely and rationally in the face of confrontation. Ironically, I can take constructive criticism, and I don’t understand why. Then again, this post is a dream, not a realization, so let’s not get into that. This post is meant to talk about why I want everyone, including myself, to be honest.

If hierarchy and feelings, as well as the fear of hurting somebody, did not exist, being honest would be so easy to do. Objectivity with honesty is probably the only way everyone in the world can take each other’s honest opinions. Honesty itself, it’s subjective, based on perspective rather than the entire truth. The entire truth, it’s something that we as an entire race would need to agree on. Regardless, I wish we could all learn to accept and appreciate each other’s honest opinions, not taking offense immediately, and not feeling burdened by the fear or guilt of potentially hurting somebody (obvious exceptions being if the words being used are intentionally hurtful, in which case, fuck off). That kind of world is a place I dream to live in. It’s a place I drift off to, in my feather-light dreams.

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