inexperience: realization 33

Typically whenever I find myself doing something for the first time, I feel uncomfortable or as if I am in over my head; I doubt my capabilities or feel as if I cannot do the task properly. A part of it is me wanting to do well from the get-go and not fall behind, but another part of it is that I want to build my confidence with a task. But that desire to gain confidence and momentum is a double-edged sword. When I do excel, I become an unstoppable force. Very little can halt my growth and process at that point. But when I fail, the self-loathing begins. I feel like I am making a fool out of myself, and that anything I attempt causes me to dig an even deeper hole. It is an inescapable doubt. But that is what happens when I lack experience. Inexperience causes uncertainty, and uncertainty can lead to doubt when things go awry.

I still remember the first time I worked in a fine-dining restaurant. It was terrifying. The equipment was completely foreign to me. Their definitions for cooking terms, completely different than my usual vocabulary. I felt lost, overwhelmed, and I quit within the second day because I felt like I could not handle the stress. Inexperience does that. It makes you feel incompetent when you fail. It gets harder to feel like you can succeed or excel when you already are in uncharted waters, and then you find yourself sinking. That increasing sense of discouragement, it just ruins one’s confidence. It gets hard to kid yourself and think that you are capable. But if you really are passionate about something, you will find a way. You will be able to overcome any obstacle that presents itself.

As much as inexperience can create doubt, experience can create hubris. Specifically, I mean arrogance. Cockiness. When you do something so many times, you can fall victim to thinking that the task is easy, doable with minimum effort. In some cases, that is true. But in a lot of them, having this kind of attitude will eventually set you up for failure. Being too much in your comfort zone, refusing to put yourself out there and face new, unfamiliar concepts or challenges, you become a big fish in a small pond. There will be less room for you to swim, less room for you to thrive. You will be too relaxed and too complacent for your own good.

What sucks is inexperience will always be a part of our lives. There is nothing we can do to prepare for it. However, you need to always remember that we will all be faced with incidents where we are inexperienced. That is what being a human being and living on this Earth is though. Facing new things and finding ways to adapt to them. But rather than being afraid of hesitant, we just need to embrace that we are doing something unfamiliar. Have an open mind. Do not ever feel like your own pride comes first. By doing that, you gain the experience without necessarily hurting yourself emotionally or mentally. Being arrogant or being nervous will never help you. Find that balance between being cautious, but being proactive. That is key to being mentally strong enough to overcome inexperience. That is essential to living a feather-light life.

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