pace: dream 35

When we want different things out of life, we have trouble co-existing. We have trouble involving each other in any aspect, from our daily routines to our deepest confessions. We are growing at different paces, and that is why one of us will outgrow the other. It creates a rift and a dissonance that we will struggle to overcome. And when we fail, the structure that was our relationship, it crumbles. It falls apart and sinks to the wayside. Yeah, that sounds dark, it’s terrifying, but does it really need to be? In every walk of our lives, we will always lose friends, loved ones, family, either to time or unresolved conflict.

What I am astounded by is how long the healing process takes. I really wish that it would be a two-three day process, where we get hurt, we reflect, we confront, and we move on. Unfortunately, that is not possible with every human being. We are all maturing at different rates, and we get into arguments because we miscommunicate, misinterpret, and misalign our values, perspectives, and morals. We are all at different stages in our lives. Some of us are bright-eyed interns who are eager to work, while others are jaded executives who want to find something else to be excited about. Because we are all were raised in different environments, it affects the pace at which we mature and live.

Obviously, I would wish for everyone to be at the same stage, moving at the same pace in their lives. But again, that’s not possible. Standardizing a way of living, especially across so many different countries, cultures, households, genders, and age groups, it is simply impossible. You cannot expect an 80 year old woman to have the same amount of enthusiasm as an eight year old boy about the new Spiderman movie or for a 45 year old woman and her 15 year old son to have an exciting conversation about Fifty Shades of Grey. Well, at least I hope. The second one would be pretty creepy. I know I would not want to talk with my mother or my potential child about that book. But it shows, case in point, that generational gaps is another reason why we cannot all be or act at the same stage mentally and emotionally. There are expectations with all of those barriers I listed.

I would say that in a world of my feather-light dreams, we would all still be at different emotional stages moving at different emotional paces. But I would wish that the conflicts that come from these differences will be easily overcome; I do not want conflict to go away, simply because it drives people to work more efficiently together when it is dealt with. I would also wish that everyone, regardless of where they are at emotionally or what pace they are moving, would be willing to mend their conflict and confront the issues, rather than running away. I want that to be the benchmark: nobody is so immature that they are non-confrontational cowards. In the world of my feather-light dreams, we would all at the least, be mature enough to respect each other’s time, and just work towards understanding each other’s perspectives, as opposed to slapping on labels and calling it a day.

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