the leech – realization

I spoke about the fearmonger, who was one of two previous bosses I had the misfortune of working with. The other person who plagued my nightmares and fueled my hate-filled thoughts, I refer to him as the leech. Shamelessly a parasite, willing to make others do all of his work, and on top of that, also willing to throw you under the bus for not doing the work that he was supposed to do. I still remember feeling overwhelmed, because I had to handle bank statement reconciliations, requests from corporate, cash transaction variances, and journal entries on top of my own work. It was exhausting, stressful, and I remember that there was one moment when I genuinely could not handle doing it all within an eight hour day; they refused to pay us overtime as well, so I could not stay for long to handle the issues that plagued me.

I recall at the end of April, I had tried to get everything done, but I could not manage it all, due to having so many different processes; on top of what I had to do for the leech, I had to handle all cash distribution for a massive hotel, as well as the accounts payable side. So having to do all of that, it was impossible. And when I could not manage everything, he had the audacity to tell me that I was getting a written warning for not doing it all. That was when I put my foot down. Within the corporate standards, there was nothing written about me having to handle all of these things. While I managed to do my job plus his corporate request, bank statement reconciliations, and journal entries, I could not manage his cash variances for that month. And I knew for a fact that I was not supposed to be doing these things. I took it to human resources, and I actually won that case. It felt liberating to know that I did too, especially since human resources were just another set of eyes and ears for the fearmonger.

This man, if you could even call him that, he was painfully incompetent. For somebody claiming to have 22 years of experience, and is a CPA in an accounting department, he was useless. And that was the most polite way of putting it. Whenever I would ask him for help, he could not help me because he did not know how to do anything. Yet, he expected me to do everything for him, because he was that incapable. And he had no shame about dropping entire binders of work on my desk, leaving me with nothing more than a post-it with basic instructions on it, and asking me to do that work for him. I would come into work feeling anxious, because I dreaded walking up to my cubicle and seeing what fresh hell I had to tackle today, because he was so useless. There were multiple instances too, where he would come harass me to do his work when I was not in my cubicle. Seeing his shameless smile when he told me to help him, it was annoying. I rarely ever wanted to punch somebody so badly. It was like being electrocuted and being told that the more I screamed, the worse it would get. I had to keep silent.

People like that, regardless of how they are as a person, they’re a liability. They offer nothing to a high-functioning team and deserve to be removed. It was funny that human resources insisted that he was an asset and deserved his position when I initially complained to them about him, but when, for a lack of better vernacular, shit hit the fan when he epically dropped the ball to the point where everyone was throwing him under the bus, and they told us that he was an on-going issue that they had been trying to get rid of, I had to call them out on their lies. It was frustrating to deal with that to the degree I had to, but I could take solace in knowing that I got him fired. Upon leaving that company, I had to do an exit interview. I was completely honest, knowing that I had nothing left to lose. And I am glad that I was. Four days after I left, he got canned. 22 years and a CPA background can only do so much to save you when there was overwhelming evidence of your idiocy and incompetence. The leach shriveled from my salt, is the most fitting way to put it. And that is how it should be. Anyone who tries to use or manipulate you, salt them. Let them shrink away and die off. Removing those burdens is one way to live your feather light life.

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fear-mongering – realization

I used to work in a very unpleasant, high-stress environment where my (thankfully) ex-bosses basically stopped short of assaulting me. It was and still is a hard thing to overcome emotionally, knowing that people who are old enough to be your parents, as well as have decades of experience, can act so immaturely. This will be a two-part realization, focusing on the two different kinds of personalities that these two bosses employed. For the first, we are going to be talking about fear-mongering. When you feel like the only way to get somebody to do anything is to act in a condescending, cold, and bordering on emotionless way. To make somebody feel like they are helpless, hopeless, and cornered. To reduce anyone to the point of tears and to strip them of any dignity that makes them feel like a human being. You might think that I’m exaggerating, but this is how that employer made me feel.

Me being the inherent people-pleaser that I am, I tried my best to make the most out of a really negative environment. But this boss, she was something else. She raises her voice and makes threats when things do not happen the way that she wants them to, and yet in any other situation, she acts ungracious, emotionless, and cruel. She also plants eyes and ears throughout the workplace so that you cannot hide from her or run away. I felt like a hostage in this situation. Like my entire career hinged on doing right by her and when I could not because I was being overwhelmed, I felt ashamed. I resented myself because of the environment I was in. It was either work towards making her happy, an impossible task when she was such a negative, ungrateful person, or feel like a failure in life, inside and outside of work, because she would threaten to send me to another branch for additional training.

I had to think to myself, why would she act this way? Why did she think it was okay to treat people as if they are far below her? I came to a conclusion for this particular situation, which was that she did not know how to operate in her department, which led to her acting the way that she was. By putting up airs and this feigned confidence, she appeared to be highly knowledgeable, however, when it came to answering questions, she had no idea what to do. It became slowly but evidently apparent that she was in over her head, and rather than admitting to her fault, she continued to pretend that she knew what was going on and how to solve the on-going issues that she herself had no control over. And rather than trying to at least learn how to handle the situation, she instead shifted the blame and fault onto others, making them feel worse about themselves, when in reality, she could not have resolved the issue any better or prevented the problem from happening in the first place, due to her limited knowledge and experience. 

Fearmongers are easy to deal with outside of a workplace setting. However, when you have to interact with them every day, and not only that, but report to them, it becomes difficult. You have to tread through a minefield essentially, because you do not want to set off an explosion. And on top of that, you have to do it for your paycheck. It is unfortunate that you cannot simply quit and say that working for them is not worth it, because it is what puts a roof over your head. However, being around somebody like that does not have to be a permanent thing. You can always find a way out. Patience, reassurance, and striving to perfection were how I managed to work my way out of a horrendous situation. I was able to close that door and leave that fearmongering, toxic person that I had to call one of my bosses behind. While yes, there are emotional scars and yes, I am still healing from them, but I am no longer exposed to that sort of hideous behavior, so I am taking steps back towards living my own feather-light life.

2 faced – realization

It’s been a while since I’ve written a post on this blog, but it’s mostly due to being very busy with work. I was recently catching up with a friend who spoke with me about certain individuals who happened to have harmed me in the past and it did bring up some really vile memories. Thoughts of being vilified by a group of narrow-minded and outright awful people, who feel the need to play victim to my existence. These same people put up a front that they’re nice and kind, but behind your back, they like to speak ill and spread rumors. Two faced people like that, who sing different tunes  on the same topic, depending on who they are around.

I started to wonder, why are people like this? Why do they think it’s okay to treat others this way? Saying that you’re their friend, but basing the entire friendship off of using you, and when things go wrong, acting like they are the victim when in reality, they’re the ones who are making the situation bad to begin with. People like that are just deep-seated with insecurity. Rooted in the core of people like that is this need to justify their bad behavior by saying it was a reaction to somebody else’s. When in reality, that supposed villain did not do anything to warrant the supposed reaction they were subjected to.

Insecurity like that, I cannot ascertain where it stems from. I would think it would be from the environment you were raised in, since that would be the foundation of your entire personality. But overcoming those sorts of abusive or toxic backgrounds is part of maturing. People who cannot be completely honest, or have the instinctive need to put others down just to make themselves feel better, they just need to learn to love themselves for who they are, so that they can stop inflicting their dissatisfaction with themselves on others. That sort of toxic behavior can really dampen not only ones day, but ones life, as that behavior did to me when I first started writing on this blog.

If you ever encounter somebody who is like that, where they are dishonest, indirectly rude, or two-faced, just remember that they are not worth your time or your emotions. Learn from my mistakes and do not allow yourself to be affected by their petty behavior. They are simply people who do not love themselves enough, which is why they feel the need to put others down the way that they do. They do not have enough self-assurance to even say these negative things to your face. Those kinds of people, even if they claim to be your friends, they are not good friends, nor do they love or trust you enough, if they cannot even do that much in being 100% upfront with you. Two faced people like that, it is better to cut them out of your life. That will help in making you feel feather-light.

 

 

 

 

 

 

disproving the doubters – realization

Something we have all experienced at some point in our lives is a moment where people think we are wrong. I cannot even begin to personally count all the times somebody has either thought or outright told me that I was not good enough. But there is a huge, overwhelming sense of satisfaction with proving them wrong. Telling them is one thing, but showing them really does drive that message home. For me, I think about how I was in high school, and how much I have changed since then, and continue changing. I was meek, quiet, and mild-mannered. People thought little of me, because I was not particularly outstanding. I was typically ignored, or picked on by people who felt like I was a doormat because of how invisible I was. Everyone only saw me as the person to beat in class so that they can guarantee their acceptance into a good college. I was their stepping stone. I lacked self-esteem, I felt unaccomplished, and most importantly to me, I felt like I had nothing to show for my then-17 years of living. But what I had to realize was that I had no peaked yet. I was nowhere near that point. The culmination of my potential was, and still is, a far way from coming.

In college, that was where my confidence started to grow. Everyone treated me so differently at first. I was given a lot more respect and appreciation than I was used to. It felt like I was accepted. I still remember that even then, I still faced some rejection throughout my time. Freshman year, I ran for a representative position for a culture club. I did not wind up getting it. However, everyone in the club basically begged me to run again. I kid you not. I was being volunteered for events that I was not made aware of, board members went out of their way to find me and talk to me. It was unusual, going from feeling unwanted and ignored to being treasured. I remember running again for an events coordinator position for that club, where I was up against 11 other people. And I got the position. And since then, I never got rejected for anything I ran for in that club again. It helped build my confidence. I slowly grew with several organizations and I remember that several people knew who I was. It was such a contrast from being that invisible person in high school. But that did not last long.

During my senior year, I was goaded into running for a public relations chair position for another club, basically being guaranteed the position by multiple people. At that point, I was already a president, vice president, treasurer, and secretary for four other clubs, but I just felt like this would make me better rounded, so I figured, why not? So I ran, and I got rejected. And those people were fake to me. Completely two-faced. And to make manners worse, those same people who rejected me kept popping back up in my life, coming into my apartment every day because my roommate got on their board. It was slowly deteriorating my self-esteem because they were complaining to me about issues in their club, as if I could do something. It was a reminder of my failure. And when I offered my input, they would put me down, telling me that since I was not a part of their board, my opinions basically did not matter. Having to put up with that sort of childish, inconsiderate, and just rude behavior for three straight months definitely left a sour taste in my mouth. And feeling like I was being attacked in the comfort of my own home, it was this suffocating feeling. I felt like I had nowhere left to go for safety or reprieve. Feeling cornered, I tried to take my own life.

Hitting rock bottom was rough for me. I wound up moving out of that apartment. That group cut ties with me, acting like I was the villain in this situation. They can think what they like. Bottom line is their opinions do not matter to me. They do not matter to me. They established that by pretending to be my friends, only to turn on me when I felt like I was being subjected to passive aggressive and just rude behavior. But I found my way back up. I realized that while rumors about me spread, it helped me filter out the people who actually do care about me, and the people who really ought to be tossed aside and ignored. Life is too short to be dealing with rude, immature, narrowminded, and ignorant people. I found the people in my life who I came to love, and the people in my life who helped me back up on my feet when I was feeling down or sad. They gave me the push to keep on living and to strive for more.

Since graduating, I had been employed by a really well known company as an accountant. While I felt proud of myself at first, I knew I could not settle. Especially knowing that the bosses I was working for were just toxic and quite frankly, morons. So I pushed through, buffered my resume with a variety of certifications, and managed to find a much better job, where I can relax, and feel at peace with the storm that had brewed in my life for the past two years. A lot has happened since 2016, but I can say that I have come a long way since then, and even before. I am infinitely happier now than I was then. I am still en route to wherever it is that I will end up, and I can look forward to that journey. I have been through a miniature hell already, being treated or outright told that I was not good enough for the past however many years I have been alive, but I proved those doubters wrong. My potential has not been reached yet, and that is the most exciting part about being alive. I can continue to work towards and peak, and when I finally get there, I can look down and enjoy the journey that took me there, and look forward onto that view of what is still to come.

 

The glass half-empty mentality: realization

I mentioned in my story, Sky Bird, that the main character Kendall was inspired by somebody who bullied me in high school. One of the biggest qualities behind Kendall’s character was his inability to see past certain aspects of another person’s upbringing or lifestyle. Passing off failure or the inability to match another’s performance for external reasons, such as the other person being richer or having access to more resources, it is a very defeatist attitude. While yes, those who are more fortunate are born with more opportunities, that does not mean in any way that somebody who is less fortunate cannot work towards those same experiences, if not greater ones. Potential is by no means defined by what you are born with. It is based on your perspective and ability to work towards your end goal in sight. You could be a waiter at a restaurant, and with the right attitude, become the general manager of the same establishment in a manner of years. Or you could be a waiter at a restaurant, and be, for a lack of better words, pissed off and grumpy, and never be promoted.

While people who come off as optimistic are often looked down upon, or written off as naive, having that positive attitude, especially an infectious one, it goes a long way. Nobody wants to stay around a pessimistic. They may relate to them better, because they tend to be more realistic, but that negativity is draining and it often times, causes an individual to be anchored down by one especially spite-filled fixation. I think about the person who Kendall was inspired by, and how even after all of these years, he has not come anywhere since high school. We both went to the same high school, and more or less started out on the same foot. The difference was that I refused to stay complacent: I took more APs and Honors classes, and I took risks, even though they did not pay off. He chose to stay in his comfort zone, or at least more so than I did. Yet, whenever I tasted success academically, he would write me off as being lucky that my parents could afford me tutors or external help. Yet, was I the smartest person at our school? Absolutely not.

While I was blessed to have the additional help, it did not, by any means, give me a completely unfair advantage over any of my other classmates. There were people who were around the same financial standing as him, but they were leaps and bounds smarter than I was. It was because they pushed themselves and tried even harder than I did. And I genuinely applaud them for that too; I think about a girl named Nicole, who comes from a five person family, and they all live in a modest-sized apartment. She went on to graduate from USC and become a CPA before she even graduated. If you are somehow reading this, Nicole, I don’t meant to embarrass you by mentioning you. You just are somebody who shows others how you can humbly achieve a lot despite not having the same kinds of advantages that I had. You are naturally smart, have a great attitude, and are a phenomenal worker, so everyone in the world can take a page from that. As for the person Kendall was inspired by, he is still pursuing his undergraduate degree in college, even though he should have graduated with my year, back in 2017. He is set to graduate from community college in 2020. And his only professional experience is working as a cashier at a Mitsuwa supermarket.

Now I am not saying that going to community college or working at a supermarket are bad things. I am, however, saying that being pessimistic and close-minded, it hurts you. He is too busy being bitter at the world, making excuses for why other people are more successful than he is, to make the most of the opportunities handed to him. I am more than certain that if he was told about Nicole’s success, all he would have to say about it was that if he went to USC, he could have become a CPA too. But in reality, that is not the case. He did not get into USC, nor is he nearly as persistent or quite frankly, hardworking as Nicole, so he would not have ever gotten as far as she did, even if he was accepted into the school. His inherent behavior and attitude, being a glass half-empty, that closes doors before they could even open. He gets defensive at the success of others, and shuts himself away from them and their accomplishments. Rather than feeling motivated by the accomplishments of others, he grows angry and resentful. While it all boils down to a sense of guilt, him feeling unaccomplished, the only way for him to use that energy in a productive way is to adopt a “I can do it too. I just need to work towards it”-sort of viewpoint, rather than a “if I had that, I could have done it too” mentality. Perspective is something I stress a lot about, because it really does make a difference. So rather than being a pessimist all the time, live a healthier blend of positive and negative. You can be realistic, but you can also be ambitious. Never forget that, so that you can live a feather-light life.

 

Uncertainty: realization

Not knowing what you want, that is a huge proponent to growing up. As you gain more experiences in life, you better understand what you do and don’t want to do with it. Honestly, looking back at when I was a high schooler, I have no idea why everyone suddenly seemed to know what they wanted to major in. Pre-med, computer science, pre-law, business, etc. I personally had an inkling of an idea that I wanted to do hospitality, solely because I liked to cook and for no other real reason. How is an 18 (or younger) year old supposed to know if what they are investing money and four years into is what they want to do for the rest of their lives?

While yes, you can argue that people can change majors (fun fact, I had a friend who changed her major five times and almost didn’t graduate on time), but there are people who can commit to a major for all four years and still not be certain that this is what they want to do for the rest of their lives. Admittedly, I fall under this category. My resume is perfectly fragmented between experiences in accounting and in food and beverage. Even now, at the time of writing this post, I am not sure which one I will be involved with in five years. Currently, I’m an accountant, but next year, who knows? I might be a pastry cook again.

That sort of uncertainty, while it is the beauty of being young, it causes a lot of stress and showcases an inability to commit and focus. Finding a career that you can do both to, it is difficult. For me, I find that I can tolerate accounting, while I am not particularly crazy or in love with it, because it enhances my life outside of work. I have a 9-5 office job, where I can sit behind a desk and stare at a screen. Considering my background is in Hospitality accounting and food and beverage with a business minor, that’s surprisingly stable.

If you find yourself in a situation you don’t like, and you don’t feel like, even after trying at it for an extended period of time, that you can’t see yourself becoming a leader in that field, then you should question your commitment to it. As I am right now, I do question whether or not I can become a director of finance. I continue working in accounting for the above mentioned benefits, but I do know one thing, and that is I need to determine whether or not I can grow and progress, and I can commit wholeheartedly. This is something we all need to do, whether we want to or not, so that we can become successful in life.

The cleanse: realization

First off, I’d like to wish everyone a happy 2018, in hopes that they all had a wonderful 2017 preceding it. Secondly, I’d like to talk about New Years Resolutions. Normally, I am not one to believe in those. But this year, I want to truly bury all of the toxic people who I dealt with from 2016, so I’m partaking in what I call “the cleanse”.

This is basically where I remove everyone who has ever treated me horrendously or had a hand in treating me in such a way from social media. For me, I am generally a very docile and mild mannered person, and I don’t want to ever offend somebody by unfriending or unfollowing somebody, even when I know they are either not good people or closely associated with toxic people.

In situations like that, it is okay to cut them off. Those people, who support toxic behavior or attitudes, they are not really your friends. There’s no point in pretending you guys are at that point, and trying to remain indifferent is not going to change the fact that these people are still holding some involvement in your life. While yes, you could wait and hope that they detach themselves from you, but that’s ludicrous. You should take the affirmative action to cut them off if you know they’re not any good for you.

While you might think, “oh, but I don’t want to be that jerk and unfriend or unfollow them on social media”, you also need to realize that you’re being too nice and considerate and people who treat you poorly or actively support those who do, they’re not worth your kind thoughts. They deserve to be cut off, along with anyone else who is toxic to your health. If you have ever felt like somebody, and their friends, have treated you poorly, I recommend trying the cleanse. Sometimes we just need a clean slate in life to really enjoy it.

Damn real: conclusion

I had no real idea where the story was going to go when I first started writing it, other than the fact that I wanted there to be a strong female protagonist to contrast the last main female protagonist, Dakota, who was a bit too much of a follower for her own good. Namie is very independent, and while she might be a little aimless, she is still capable of sticking up for herself.

I even titled it “Fashionably Late” to reference Namie being supposedly late in life with her relationship status, but decided that it was not only anti-progressive to the feminist beliefs I was raised on, but does not send a good message that I want my stories to convey to my readers by making the focus about fashion and dating

I decided to title it Damn Real after the Koda Kumi song, and I wanted to make the themes focus on being realistic or practical with your decisions in life

I wanted Namie to be a very practical and decisive person to better reflect the title

Before, I wanted her to be more of a wanderluster, although aspects of that character do reflect in when Namie is testing the waters with her suitors, as well as in the end, when she decides to forgo everything in her life up until that point

Originally, Namie was going to receive a huge amount of money from her mother, but I changed that to being just a plane ticket. To explain her wealth, I wanted Namie to come off as more self-made, hence why I opted for her to have a mini fortune in stocks and investments, just to showcase her intelligence that much more.

Emiri was not a main focus when I began writing this. I decided that she could be a very good gateway for the reader to better empathize with a Mormon character and understand what she was taught to believe versus how she actually is as a person.

It was not decided until I started writing Chapter 2 that Melissa Chen was going to be the dance instructor. She was previously in my other work, How it is, as a college student who comedically destroyed tables with her krav maga skills.

I knew I wanted there to be two strong female supporting characters who were both driving Namie forward. Neither of them were from terribly realistic backgrounds, with Wei being a famous idol, while Claire is a famous beauty guru. But putting them next to Namie made her seem plain at first, but much more relatable by default.

A lot of who Namie was, it was based directly on my own experiences working in hotel finance. I became friends with the people working in the Front Desk, so that’s a huge reason why I made Namie, a general cashier like myself, friends with Claire the Front Desk Supervisor. It was just a natural fit, given their roles.

I do envy Namie to a degree, because she is a lot smarter, more driven, and more capable than I am, but I wanted her to have those qualities so that she could be a unique and admirable character. The fact that she is so multitalented, you cannot help but root for her when she chose to make a life changing decision to become a dancer. You know that somebody that committed to being the best will always succeed, no matter what route she chooses to take.

Overall, I hope that the takeaway of this story is to do what is right for you. You can just throw away your life and dive into a career just to get ahead, or throw away your career and dive into your passion. Either way, there really is no wrong answer, and that is what makes the ending of this story hopefully hit a real place for all of you guys reading this. No matter what choices you make in life, you may feel second thoughts and even regrets, but so long as your work ethic shines through, you will be successful no matter what. That is an even bigger truth and takeaway that I hope you all come to understand from reading this story.

Warrior Chef 5: Afterword

This season actually marked the first time where the number of female contestants vastly outnumbered the male contestants. And that was mostly attributed to the fact that in all three preliminary rounds, men were sent home. I don’t think I have ever had a 2:1 female to male ratio in a cast for Warrior Chef before; most of the times, I try to keep it even, or I follow the format of Top Chef Masters and have it be 7 male to 5 female, since I tend to focus more on the female characters anyways, being raised a feminist who is always rooting for the girls to win.

Of these twelve contestants, all of them were actually based on people I knew in real life, with the exceptions of Colt and Kenny, ironically, who were based on celebrities or television characters. Tiffany in particular, she was inspired by a dear friend of mine as well as Top Chef contestant, Tiffany Derry, who I am a huge fan of. I wanted Tiffany to go far, if not win, the moment I wrote her character because an African American winner was long since overdue, and her cooking style of taking extremely simple food and blowing away the judges with bold flavors, it was an amusing write for me.

Hopefully you enjoyed reading this season of Warrior Chef, because I really do love to write them. Warrior Chef 6 has already been wrapped up by the time this post will be up, and I hope you all look forward to it as much as I look forward to continuing this series!

Warrior Chef 5 results

betrayal: realization

The concepts of trust, faith, and loyalty, I used to think of them as weaknesses. Shackles that kept me from being a better version of myself, in the form of relying on others and hoping that they can help me when I most need it. In this sort of world, people only ever remember the negatives, specifically when people hurt or backstab them. We hardly ever acknowledge the people who do pull through and give us hope in the world. And trust me, no matter how much you try to deny that there has been a person like that in your life, you will find that somebody, even for a fleeting moment, has pulled through for you when you needed it most. That sort of kindness, it is important to carry it forward. However, this post is not about cherishing those good-willed gestures. This is about betrayal, and why people act in such a way that it hurts you deeply.

It is one thing to put all of your trust into somebody, but when that person goes out of their way to disappoint you, whether it be distributing your secrets to other people behind your back, throwing you under the bus by using your secret as the excuse for a mistake or poor performance, or just refusing to be there consistently when you need them most, it really sucks. Simply put. Being told that somebody who you took the time to care for and emotionally invest in that they are stabbing you in the back in the way that they are, it hurts. But the main reason why is simple: on a subliminal level, you felt so emotionally attached and invested into the person that you want to see a return on that investment. You want them to come through for you in the same way that you have come through for them. So when they do not reciprocate or respect your gestures or actions, it hurts.

Now that honestly sounds shallow, almost manipulative, and materialistic, but it holds a lot of truth. Maybe when you swap out a word or two there. I refer to what a friendship consists of as an emotional investment, which comes off as cold and business-like, but try replacing that with more sentimental vocabulary, such as memories, moments, time together, etc. It automatically makes sense to you. Those memories you shared together in your relationship, you hoped for the sake of those that the person you relied on would help you. But that is not always the case. Some people, they will pull through and those are the friends you want to keep close to you. The ones that just drop the ball and never come through, even when it is a simple request, they are not worth any of your emotional investment or time. Yes, it will be hard to cut them off from your heart, and that sort of process takes time. That is understandable. We are only human beings, so having a sense of sentimentalism occurs naturally to us. The foundation of our intelligence is based on memories.

All I can say is that if somebody betrays you, wear a tough skin, make new memories with better people, and try to move on. At first, you will feel yourself actively trying to do so, but as you enjoy your new life more and more, that constant reminding of yourself to move on, it fades away. You will start to adjust and adapt to your new life. Sometimes, you might remember things about your past subliminally, whether it be seeing something or someone who reminds you of the person you are trying to forget or maybe seeing that person in a dream (probably a nightmare if that person is involved). All you can do when that happens is keep pushing forward. The fact that those memories continue to resurface, that means that you need to continue moving on and moving forward. Dwelling in the past, this is how those traitors in your life win. Their actions that hurt you will only sink in more by you allowing them to affect you. Be the strong person you are, and rise above it all. Don’t look back.