alter ego: dream 34

I’m sure we have all dreamt about having superpowers at one point in our childhood. If not superpowers, then being a superhero in general. Come on, I can’t be the only one, right? I still remember wanting to be like Sheik from The Legend of Zelda, mostly because she was super elegant, androgynous, and sleek. I got into long distance running because her build reminded me of a long distance runner – slender and slim. Granted, I probably should have done acrobatics and gymnastics if I really wanted to pursue that sort of flexibility that Sheik has, but that’s another story. Bottom line is, I wanted to be a ninja/assassin-eqsue superhero when I was a little kid. Ironically, I did NOT watch Naruto, even though you would think that somebody with some interest in that kind of character would be. Nope, never really got into that, unfortunately. But my lack of interest in mainstream ninja-themed anime aside, I always wanted to be superhuman, just because it would be so cool to have those powers or that sense of mystique in having an alter ego.

A lot of the reason why I thought having an alter ego would be cool is that I felt my every day life was just not interesting. At that time, I was like a middle schooler, so I had very little going for me. But imagining if I had another identity, fighting crime, being this stealthy vigilante who would would help others, it sounded so cool to me at the time. Granted, it was also very dangerous, because I would be limited in my equipment and actual capabilities. So naturally, that dream remained a dream and nothing else. I eventually stumbled upon cooking, and in a lot of ways, that became my alter-ego so to speak. On one hand, I would be a hard working student. On another, I would also be a very capable pastry cook. It was really cool to have those two sides to me, but upon enrolling in a hospitality college, those two identities became inseparable; I was a student and known for my knowledge in Food and Beverage. That was both good and bad. I gained recognition and people knew who I was before actually meeting them, but at the same time, I could not pull out my surprise cooking skills as often now, because people would know that I have them. The secret, the thrill of it being my double-life, it was gone.

I guess in a lot of ways, that is why I kept my identity for Featherlight a secret. Having this little secret, it makes me feel like I have an edge to me. Nobody knows that I am this anonymous blogger. They can know me all they want for being a pastry cook, a student, a runner, whatever, but they will almost never know how I am in here, or that the person here writing right now is me. As much as it would simplify the world to have no secrets, for me anyways, I think a couple harmless secrets, like writing an anonymous blog where everything is kept anonymous anyways, is fine. Privacy deserves to exist, for the sake of us not feeling entirely exposed. There is a such extreme as having too much privacy, where you close yourself off to the world. But having too little, you feel vulnerable and scared. I still remember when everyone in my college knew who I was. It was terrifying. I could not introduce myself without somebody knowing who I was already, and it made me paranoid, thinking that they were stalking me on social media. I actually had to delete my social media accounts for like a month because of this incident.

I think we all deserve to have an alter ego in our lives, so long as they are not committing anything illegal here. Having an alter ego means that we can appeal to the thoughts and concepts we normally do not get to explore in our everyday lives. That’s how I was able to learn so much about food at first, because I could escape to the world of cooking and ingredients when I hated dealing with history or science. That’s how I was able to start actively writing in this blog, because I love being able to change gears and do something else, just so that my mind can be challenged in new ways and my perspective and experience can continue to broaden. In a world of my feather-light dreams, we can all pursue and explore anything we want to and not worry about our privacy being violated.

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Pearls

A little girl, playing on the beach. Golden sand, as far as the eye could see. The salty breeze tickled her tainted ivory skin as she dove into the crystal clear blue. Beneath the surface, through those cloudy goggles, a new world unfolded. Strange, colorful structures, coral and kelp forests. The denizens of beneath, the sea life, drifting through the tides like small birds in the sky. Floating to the bottom, she found the sea’s natural treasures: sea shells. Snagging the oysters from their barnacle crusted crags, she quickly rose back to the surface. She desperately wanted a pearl of her own. The girl came from afar, abandoned and bruised. The beach and sea were her sanctuary from the perils of her past. She sought after something so smooth and untarnished, in hopes of becoming one and the same. Breaking apart the shell, she gasped in delight. Nestled in┬áthe tan and black flesh was her beloved underwater gem. A metaphorical symbol to her outlook. The world was like her oyster. She would continue to grow. Starting as granules of rock and sand, and transforming into a singular, elegant pearl.

hidden romance

It was late as night. He was told to meet at the white gazebo, overlooking the koi pond. “Is anyone there?” He called, only half-expecting a response. Nothing. Defeated, he rested on the wooden railing, gazing into the dark water. He could see the koi dancing among each other. Dancing, he thought to himself. It reminded him of the their very first encounter. It was back in the castle. He was invited to a gala to honor his uncle. At first, he was bored. Everyone was older, rich, elitists and socialites. Typical attendees for this kind of event. But in the midst of these people was the one. He found himself flushed as he nervously approached the center of the crowd. He wanted to talk. He wanted to learn more. The two quickly met eyes. And soon enough, the entire gala was off to the side. They were laughing together, watching the castle from the nearby hills. Ending their chat with a kiss and promise, the two parted ways.”Hey. Sorry I kept you waiting. My dad did not want me to leave the house.” He turned around excitedly. “I managed to escape, but it was not easy-” He pressed their lips together, cutting off the rest of that statement. He did not care. He was just happy to see his hidden flame. His hidden romance. Parting lips, still locked in an embrace, their eyes gazed into each other once again. Nobody could know that they were romantically involved. The nephew of a general and the son of a wealthy socialite. It was a relationship that nobody could find out about. It was a secret they had to carry to their deaths. But they knew, despite the expectations and stigmas, that they needed to be in this relationship together. It was their escape from the harsh expectations of life.

Afterword:
Generally, I would post my short stories on Saturdays, but this story fit the theme of Valentine’s, so that’s why I posted this off-schedule. Happy Valentine’s/Singles’ Awareness Day! We are genuinely lucky to be living in this day and age where people can love each other, regardless of judgement, unlike during the time and setting of my story!