romanced: dream

A majority of us are raised in a society where we go to school, get a job, get married, have a family, and then our children continue that cycle. Where I am at currently in my life is post-going to school, but pre-getting a job or I am even further away from getting married; I have very little experience with relationships and romance in general. I only recently had my first relationship, and we agreed that the title was too… intense, and that we would prefer to stay as friends who date exclusively first, as we get to know each other better.

I am embarrassed to admit that I would actually want to be in a relationship. Not for the sake of being in one so that I am not single or to check part of another box off the unspoken to-do list of life, but more for the life experience that comes from it. Even if this relationship does not lead to marriage but rather ends sourly in a break-up, I don’t mind so long as I can learn something more about myself from the experience. Just being a part of the ride is enough to make me happy. To understand what it means to be somebody else’s significant other, while at the same time, being able to see a person as my own, it is important for me. I want to know that somebody out there who can make me feel and act that way exists.

The concept of love and relationships, it’s not something that can be approached logically. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why we as humans are always so fascinated by the idea. No matter what we try to find in somebody else as a mate, sometimes, our hearts may not always agree. Let’s say we want somebody who is tall, Caucasian, and muscular, but we end up in a relationship with somebody who is medium-height, African American, and scrawny. Yet, we are not un-attracted to the African American, despite them being not what we would prefer. And that is because of what they have to offer beneath the surface. While they do not physically resemble what we would want in an ideal mate, the personality and ethics of this African American appeals to us.

The concept of love has a lot of gray areas. For example, one might view a woman getting hit by her husband as domestic violence without any context. But what if the woman wanted her husband to hit her, because that was her kink? I’m not going to explore that idea more, because it is a very…awkward topic, but you get the idea. There are other emotions, primal, hormonal, and hard to understand in general, that cloud our judgement and make us act beyond reason and logic. Yet, that’s what makes being romanced such an exciting and terrifying journey. The unknown does not necessarily settle well with me, but being able to single out that special somebody out of the several millions of people in the world, it’s a wonderful feeling. And it’s a feeling that every human being deserves to have, or at least in the world of my featherlight dreams.

Advertisements

Sky Bird: Chapter 23

It was finally Monday, first period. The moment of truth for Kendall. He sat there, nervously with Matt and Fanny, waiting for Sophia to talk in. “Hey!” Sophia ran in, panting. “Sophia! You’re late!” Mrs. Johnson frowned. “I’m so sorry!” She apologized frantically, making her way to her seat. “They locked the back gate, so I had to hope the fence.” She sighed. “At least you did the smart thing. Remember Kendall earlier this semester?” Fanny sniggered. “Shut up, Fanny.” Kendall growled. “Are you okay, though?” The green-eyed brunette turned to her. “Yeah, I am.” She nodded. “You’re not hurt or anything?” Nah. I’m used to hopping fences.” She admitted. “Learning new things about you every day.” Matt laughed. “Okay, guys. Since we can’t just have you guys doing nothing, I’m going to be putting on a movie based on a book you’ll be expected to read next year if you’re taking English 3 AP. It’s the film adaptation of Toni Morrison’s novel, Beloved. Fun fact, Oprah Winfrey played the lead!” Everyone looked at each other in amusement. “Alright, let’s do this!” Matt and Fanny shouted. “Wait, Beloved? Oh, that’s a scary novel! Carly told me about it.” Sophia turned to Kendall. “Wait, are you scared easily?” Sophia smirked. “Dude, I’m Thai and those ghosts are terrifying. I doubt anything from the American horror genre can be remotely as bad.” “Alright, let’s begin!”

“I thought you said you weren’t scared by American horror films.” Fanny shook his head at Sophia as they walked to Chemistry Honors together. “I don’t know why I lied to Kendall. I guess I didn’t want him to think I’m weak or vulnerable?” She turned to him. “I can get that, but if you’re going to be in a relationship with him, it’s perfectly fine to be honest. Yeah, it’ll be annoying that you guys will be getting all lovey-dovey-boo-hoo-I’m-so-scared-hold-me-boyfriend-annoying, but that’s just natural with young love.” “Love? I’m 16, Fanny! 16 year olds don’t fall in love!” She rolled her eyes at his comment. “You’re probably right. I mean, maybe in year, you guys will outgrow each other, break up, and block each other on FaceBook, but that’s just life.” Fanny chuckled. The Thai girl looked horrified. “Oh come on, it’s not as bad as it sounds! Even if Jared and I break up, I might be all hurt and shit first, but then I’ll get over it.” He mentioned, trying to make her feel better, but evidently failing. “Okay, I’m not going to you for love advice.” Sophia shook her head. “You’re going to go to Carly with her majestic relationship with Damian?” The Chinese boy raised his eyebrow skeptically. “Okay, touche.” Carly and Damian’s break-up was so devastating that whenever Carly’s friends see him, they outright ignore him.

“Alright, so here’s what we’re going to do today in Physics.” Ms. Park looked around. “Since we want to have some fun, we are actually going to play the marshmallow challenge. Do you guys know what that is?” A small blonde junior raised her hand. “Yes, Hannah?” “Isn’t it like Chubby Bunny? So fitting a ton of marshmallows in our mouths? And what does that have to do with Physics?” Ms. Park stifled a laugh. “No, it’s not that! It’s a game where you have four pasta noodles, tape, scissors, rope, and a marshmallow and your goal is to building the tallest, stable structure to hold the marshmallow on top.” Everyone looked at each other, concerned. “So let’s go at it individually.” She smiled, handing out the supplies. Today was going to be a very fun class. The brunette smiled to himself, thinking about how he would get the marshmallow to balance. “And if you get the highest structure, I’ll give you 5 points extra credit. More incentive!” She wanted to make sure that everyone would try on this. “I’ll give you all 15 minutes, since we need to take time to measure them and everything.”

“So it wasn’t awkward in first period?” Carly and Sophia were in the gymnasium for their fourth period together. “Nah, we watched a movie, but I lied to him. I told him I wasn’t scared easily, but who am I kidding myself?” “I’m surprised he doesn’t remember you being a scaredy-cat.” Carly giggled.” You’ve known each other for so long! Not one Halloween Party where you were scared?” “It’s more like Beloved is just scarier in general.” She admitted. “It’s not like the rest of the stereotypical scary movies in American culture. That movie actually made me want to scream and cry. It rivals Thai ghost stories.” “Uh, do I want to know?” Carly shuddered. She hated horror movies. The only person in their friend group who wasn’t scared was Megan; she loved scary movies. “But you really shouldn’t lie to Kendall. Especially if you’re about to get into a relationship with him. You guys need to trust each other.” She reasoned. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll go talk to him after this.” Sophia wanted to make sure that whatever it was between her and Kendall, there was honesty.

“Kendall!” Sophia ran up to the brunette. It was lunch time, and he was with Matt and Jared eating lunch in front of the library. “Hey, what’s up?” He turned to see her standing next to him. “Can we talk?” “Oh. Uh, sure?” He got up and headed off with her. “I’ll see you guys later!” He waved. Matt and Jared exchanged looks of amusement. The two made their way towards the black top, where almost nobody was. “So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?” “So when we were watching Beloved, I might have lied. I told you that I was not scared by non-Thai things, and that was a half-lie. I didn’t think that American things could scare me. Except Beloved was terrifying.” The brunette began to snicker. “Wait, that’s what you wanted to tell me? That you were scared of Beloved?” He was laughing at this point. “What’s so funny? I’m trying to be honest with you, since we are…. are we in a relationship?” She looked to him as he stopped laughing. “Sorry, it was just really cute the way you thought it was that important to tell me. I appreciate your honesty, Sophia. And yeah, why the hell not? Do you want to be in a relationship?” Kendall grinned at her. “Of course! Why else would I try to be completely honest with you, right?” “Okay. I want to you to be girlfriend.” He nodded, holding her hand. “And I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“Are they holding hands?!” Megan and Fanny were shocked to see Sophia and Kendall walking into their Japanese classroom, hand in hand. “Aw, I’m so glad for them!” Carly laughed. “Oh, young love. These bitches are crazy. Make sure that they use a condom. Don’t want somebody to be somebody’s baby mama!” Sharquiqui shouted. “Uh… that’s a bit extreme.” Kendall glanced at her as they sat down. “Skye-baka is dating Puckchareon-san? Well, Puckchareon-san, be careful. You might catch his stupid.” Kawaguchi-sensei warned. Sophia just rolled her eyes at the comment and turned back to Kendall. “At least being in class with you will make Mondays go by a lot faster from now on.” She beamed at him. “Time flies when you’re having fun.” He agreed. Fanny, Megan, and Sharquiqui all groaned as Carly giggled. “I swear, if Jared and I were ever this sappy, I apologize now.” Fanny frowned. “I think I am getting physically ill from watching this.” Megan shook her head in irritation.

Sky Bird: Chapter 22

“So you guys kissed?” Carly gasped. Sophia and Carly were getting brunch together on Sunday. “Yeah. It was so awkward.” Sophia put her hands on her face, embarrassed. “Oh, come on, it couldn’t have been that bad, right?” “Okay, fine. I really liked it and I thought it was sweet of him to drive all the way to my place to talk to me like that.” She confessed, putting her hands back on her lap. “So are you guys official? Or at least spoke since that night?” Carly asked before taking a sip of her tea. “Not yet. I’m really scared to.” “What’s there to be scared about?” The Korean girl raised an eyebrow. “You guys both confessed to each other. Isn’t the next step to start dating?” “I’ve never done this before, neither has he, so it’s just really awkward.” Sophia shook her head, trying not to blush. “Hmm… Well I still remember from when I used to date Damian, how he’d always take me on dates and stuff. Granted, we kissed after maybe the third date, so you guys are going in a very different direction than I did.” Carly chuckled. “Kissing before the actual dating? But I’d say just go on a couple dates with him. And if it doesn’t work out, just laugh it off and go back to being friends. Don’t let the romantic feelings make anything weird, okay?” “Alright, Carly. I’ll try. But if things go south, then what?” “Then we just cut Kendall out of our lives. Easy peasy!” She laughed.

“You didn’t talk to her since then?!” Jared and Matt looked at Kendall in disbelief. “Well…no? I’m not sure what to do.” Kendall sighed. He felt like he blew it royally. “Don’t say that. I’m sure she appreciated how straightforward you were, you know, driving to her place and talking to her in person? It shows that you’re a decent person.” Matt pointed out. “How did you and Fanny end up together again?” Kendall looked at Jared. “We started dating in the beginning of the semester. It was pretty awkward actually…” The blonde started. “Why was it awkward?” “Because it just happened for us. The first time, uh.. well… so I might have been checking him out in the locker room? He was taking off his shirt, and then I noticed his butt and how perky-” “Okay, can we please not get that much into detail?” Matt interrupted, clearly uncomfortable with Jared’s summarization of Fanny’s body. “Okay, but basically Fanny caught me checking him out. And he thought it was hilarious, because he had a feeling I was gay because I kept saying words like ‘fag’ and he had a feeling I was checking him out for quite a while.” “And?” Kendall was not quite sure where this story was going. “Well, he and I just started talking more and we started to go on dates. It was pretty thrilling at first, because it was all done in secret, but we started to realize how badly we needed to go public about it. Both of us felt like it was an itch that needed to be scratched, and that’s when we came out to you. Well, accidentally.” Jared chuckled. “But for the dates, did you guys just initiate it?” Kendall pressed, wanting to figure out how this whole concept of dating worked. “Yeah, we kept talking, and then I was like ‘let’s get dinner sometime!’ and then it happened. We kissed on the first date and everything.” The blonde laughed. “Alright, so I’ll just text her now.” Kendall sighed, pulling out his phone. “Hey, Sophia. Are you free for a meal anytime this week?” He sent. “Sure. What time?” She shot back.

“Kendall! Let’s go!” Gil tugged at his older brother’s arm. They were supposed to go to Little Tokyo to hang out together for the rest of the day. “Alright, give me a sec.” Kendall rushed to pull on his socks and shoes. “Okay, coming now!” The older brunette ran down the stairs and joined his little brother in the car. “Alright, let’s go!” The engine revved and the two left the apartment complex. “Why did you want to go to Little Tokyo again?” Kendall looked at his brother. “Mostly because I miss actual Japan.” Gil sighed. The middle schooler has been having Japan-withdrawals since spring break had ended. “Well, I’m with you on that. I miss Japan too.” He sighed. It truly was a wonderful country. And Little Tokyo would probably be the best approximation to it outside of Asia. “Hold on, I’m going to try to park.” Kendall saw a parking structure just off the Japanese Village Plaza. “Alright, and we’re parked!”

“I love this place!” Gil and Kendall were getting takoyaki from a small stand across the street from the Tokyo souvenir store. Sitting down on a bench underneath the large umbrella in the center of the plaza, the two brothers continued to snack on takoyaki while talking about life. “So for high school, Algebra 2 Honors, English 1 Honors, and Biology Honors?” Gil looked to his brother for class suggestions. “Yeah, that’s probably the best. And which sport were you thinking?” “Either football or cross country.” “Hm.. knowing you, try cross country. Megan, Chloe, and Fanny can look after you.” Kendall pointed out. “That’s true. Fanny’s on varsity so he can help.” “Yeah, I’ll try cross country, and if I don’t like that, I’ll try football or maybe even soccer?” He looked the brunette hopefully. “If you do soccer, let me know. Jared’s going to be captain next year.” “Will do!” Gil grinned.

“So what’s for dinner?” The younger Skye looked to his brother. They were still in Little Tokyo, but it was already night time. “How about Kula?” “Ooh! The revolving sushi place?” Gil’s face lit up immediately. The two made their way to the restaurant and put their names on the waiting list. While they were waiting, the brothers were admiring the array of paper lanterns that hovered over the plaza. It was breathtaking to see the white and red orbs illuminating the blue tiled roofs of the buildings nearby. This sort of view made Kendall wish he could move to Japan. Never has he felt so grateful to be part Japanese. “Oh, look, it’s our turn!” The two turned and saw the hostess calling their name. “Let’s get some sushi on our bellies!” Kendall patted his stomach jokingly. “Yup!” The two walked back over to the restaurant, and took their seats in front of the revolving sushi belt. It was so interesting, watching plates of sushi just move past them. But for some reason, Kendall just could not stop thinking about her. No matter what he tried to do to distract himself. He could only think about spending these memories with Sophia.

Sky Bird: Chapter 18

“Thank god we’re almost finished.” Fanny groaned in relief. There were only a couple of scenes left in the movie project. Kendall’s movie group was currently at the Malibu Beach Inn, where they filmed a scene involving Kendall and Sophia’s characters; Thaimee and Gregory were supposed to be on a date on the beach in this scene. At this point, all that was left were the scenes with Fanny’s character, which he insisted he could film on his own with the help of Chloe, just so that nobody else had to waste any more time. “Good work on the last scene, Kendall.” Sophia smiled at the brunette. “Thanks.” The brunette was still slightly jet lagged, so he was just trying not to fall asleep. “Okay, so here’s the big scene. You two are going to kiss.” Fanny looked like he was either trying to contain his own vomit or laughter as Sophia and Kendall looked at him in horror. “Wait, why am I kissing him?” Sophia glared at Fanny. “That wasn’t in the script we wrote!” “Suck it up. I’m the director, and these are changes I made to improve the story.” He winked at her. Even though he was put off by Kendall, Fanny still wanted Sophia to have a shot at a relationship with the boy she had a crush on: in short, he put his friendship with Sophia before his detest for Kendall. “Can we at least fake it? You know, angle the camera.” Sophia suggested, not wanting Kendall to think that this is what she wanted. “Okay, fine. I can be a reasonable dictator. I mean, director.” He rolled his eyes, getting back behind his tripod. “That was really sneaky of you, Fanny.” Carly whispered to him. “Well, what a girl wants, a girl gets.” He chuckled back at her.”Okay, and let’s start filming now! 4, 3, 2.”

Kendall and Sophia stood in the water, side by side. Sophia reached over and grabbed his hand. What is this I’m feeling? My heart’s racing? The brunette felt confused. Sophia’s hand was small, soft, and warm. “Thailand ni  kaeritakunai. Edward-kun to isshouni koko ni sunmitain.” Sophia looked at him. “Demo Thaimee-chan no uchi wa Thailand no naka ni desu ne? Soshite, boku no uchi wa California no naka ni. Dakara, kore was watashitachi no saigo no deeto.” He whispered, looking into her eyes. For some reason, Kendall was blushing. He could feel his face turning red as he got closer to Sophia. “Kono mama de zutto oboette iru.” Sophia whispered as they pushed their faces together. “Cut!” Fanny screamed. The two quickly pulled their faces away from each other. Unknown to Kendall, Sophia felt every bit as flustered as he did about this situation. “Okay, let me re-angle the camera, and then we can finish the scene.” The Chinese boy chuckled. He could tell from Kendall’s body language that he was starting to reciprocate Sophia’s feelings. But it will still take a little bit more time for the brunette to realize this himself. Regardless, Fanny enjoyed playing cupid.

“Hey! Wait for me!” Kendall was back in the flower fields. The girl in the white dress giggled as she ran into the woods. “Hold on!” He grunted, running into the forest, just inches behind her. “Come over here! Follow me, Kendall!” She chanted, going deeper and deeper into the woods. Kendall could see the contours of her face, but couldn’t quite recognize her from behind. She had a very small face with slim cheeks. “Kendall!” The girl called in an almost sing-song tone. She seemed to be mocking him at this point. “We’re here!” She stopped. The brunette took a second to catch his breath before looking up. They were at a clearing in the woods. Sunlight made its way through the wholes in the trees. “Who are you?” The brunette panted, winded from the chase. “You don’t recognize me? That’s a shame, Kendall.” The girl giggled, as she stepped into the center of the clearing. “It’s me.” She turned around. Unfortunately, Kendall didn’t quite get to see her face. Not yet, anyways.

“Wake up! Wake up, you idiot!” Kendall had fallen asleep on the car ride back home. The only reason why he managed to wake up was because Megan was kicking him in the shins. “Ouch.” He opened his eyes, only to see her, growling at him. “Get up. Fanny needs to go home.” She tugged at his arm. “Ouch, okay.” He got off. “Later!” Fanny waved, as his Tesla took off. “I get that you’re jet lagged, but that was just lame. Get it together.” Megan shook her head, walking up the stairs. But the boy was not thinking about her words as he followed her back to the apartment. He was thinking about the dream he had to wake up from just now. The girl, he saw her again. She was always just a few seconds away before somebody would inconveniently wake him up. It was frustrating. Maybe it was a metaphor for his love life? Always one second away, and then somebody else has to ruin it. Granted, in his real life, he never necessarily got that close to being in a relationship. There were his hopes with Carly, only just to realize how incompatible they would be as more than friends. At this point, the brunette just felt like he needed to focus on getting good grades. Relationships could wait for later.

“How was filming, honey?” A small Asian lady in her 40s, Mrs. Puckchareon, greeted her daughter. “It was fun! We went to the beach today.” Sophia explained. “Was rocket guy there?” Jesse looked at the two. “Yes. He was there.” “Rocket guy?” Mrs. Puckchareon was confused. “Oh. Kendall.” Sophia looked at her mother. “Oh, Kendall Skye? The boy in your English and Japanese classes, right?” She had met him in passing once. “Why’s he rocket guy?” “He loves aerospace engineering and rockets, so Jesse likes to call him that.” “Oh, okay, well that makes sense. Anyways, Sophia, I have to go back to Mrs. Ahn’s flower shop. I need to take inventory for tomorrow because we have a lot of orders coming in. It’s almost prom season and I know that everyone is going to want flowers.” Her mother grabbed her coat and headed off. Mrs. Puckchareon was the head of the PTA, so she was directly in charge of organizing the school’s dances every year. “Bye, mom!” Sophia waved. “I’ll take care of Jesse while you’re away!” “So what’s for dinner, Soph?” Jesse looked up at her. “Hmm… let’s go out for today.” She smiled. “It’s a Monday, we deserve it.” “Alright, where?” “How about Lemon Tree?” Sophia was referring to Lemon Tree Kids & Family Restaurant, a Korean-Italian place in Koreatown, close to where they lived. “Okay!” He grinned as they got up and started to talk there.

“Wait, so he tried to make you guys kiss?” Jesse laughed. “Yeah. Fanny thought it would be funny to rewrite the scene without telling me. Typical Fanny.” Sophia shook her head. “Fanny is hilarious. I love Fanny!” Jesse laughed. Out of all of Sophia’s friends who Jesse had met, Fanny was the only one Jesse never made fun of or called a funny name. Jesse called Carly “boring girl” and Kendall “rocket guy.” “He’s the best. Making you make out with rocket guy!” Jesse was trying not to fall out of his chair at this point. “Ugh, shut up, Jesse.” Sophia slid down her chair, embarrased. “What? It’s not like you like rocket guy, do you?” Jesse eyed his embarrassed sister. There was an awkward silence. “Oh. Fanny knew?” “Yeah, he did.” “Ooh, he’s evil! I like it.” Jesse gained a newfound appreciation and admiration for Fanny and his cunning ways.

At the Skye apartment, there was a knocking at the door. “Who is it?” Kendall half-awake, walked up to the door. “It’s me, Chloe.” She stated in a grumpy tone. “Oh.” He opened to door. The girl looked like a zombie. “Jet lag has been good to you too, I see.” The brunette noted the dark rings around her bloodshot eyes and the perpetual frown glued to her face. “Yup. Megan! Hurry up! I want food!” She whined. “Coming!” Megan shouted back, walking over. The two had made dinner plans because they wanted to get back into their usual routine and overcome their jet lag together. “How was Hong Kong?” Kendall tried to make small talk with her. “Good. How was Japan?” “Good.” Their conversation was short and awkward, just like their general relationship. The female brunette dragged her feet over to the door, looking equally exhausted. “Okay, let’s go.” The two walked off, looking like a pair of zombies. “Are those two going to be okay?” Gil peeked over Kendall’s shoulder. “Yeah.” “Ouch!” Chloe walked into a wall downstairs. “My face!” “Well, maybe. Thank god we have the Find My iPhone app on our phones. At least we can track her if anything goes wrong.” Kendall reassured his terrified little brother. “Alright then.” He yawned, walking back inside.

Snow Prince

A boy, a prince whose heart was as cold as ice. His knight, whose will had melted that ice. Together, they lived, deep in the mountains. The snow polluted the air with its soft white touch. Leaving the mountains, it felt impossible. But the knight attempted it. He wanted to escape. The boy waited in the citadel, yearning for his knight’s return. The knight, the only person who could break through that ice which weighed down the snow prince’s heart. The prince would cry, feeling the sadness overcome his heart. He missed his knight. He needed his warm embrace to extinguish the cold. His knight had left to find a cure to the boy’s cold heart. But the prince only needed his knight to thaw that sorrow. His knight was his medicine, he convinced himself. No, that was the frost talking, lying to the boy. Forcing himself to believe that his knight would return and that his knight was all he needed. He shook off these idiotic urges, thoughts, and feelings. It was becoming increasingly clear to the boy. His knight was terrified and scared off. The cold had driven the boy past the brink of madness and despair. Running out of the citadel, the boy never looked back. He ran into the distance, through the snow and mountains. He was determined to find his knight. Determined to make right what he did and said wrong. His only cure, what he needed to thaw this cold, was forgiveness for his delusion. Redemption from his own mistakes.