Multidimensionalism: realization

Something that got me thinking was when I saw one of my classmates making a separate “food” Instagram account, and then telling everyone on FaceBook to follow her on it. It was a lot of an eye-roller, I will admit, but that is not the point of this post. I just want to understand why so many people, especially young people, find the need to create an entirely new Instagram, typically titled (Insert your name here)eats, or something to that effect. It’s honestly so unnecessary. Why can’t you just upload food pictures to your current Instagram? What is so difficult about doing that?

But the answer I am likely to hear is not a pretty one. It is almost always that these people want to be “discovered” as food authorities. They want the likes, the attention, the fame. They want an entirely different account for their food-related lives, in addition to their personal accounts, just to double the chances of them gaining likes and followers, which in turns, is supposed to help with their self-esteem and just making them feel better about themselves. And some people might make the argument that “oh, they don’t post the same photos in their Foodstagrams as they do their normal accounts!” But trust me, they do. Half the time, I get the same photos circulating my feed because they double-dip photos between both accounts. That’s why I came around to this conclusion.

Now, I just don’t understand why we can’t consolidate our photos and interests to one account. Yes, half of the this post is to call out people who are obnoxious enough to do that, but the rest of this post is to question the necessity of it. Are people, we are allowed to have more than one interest. We can express ourselves through these different topics and interests. Compartmentalizing ourselves to just one thing, or separating that one aspect from the rest of our lives, is it really worth compromising the multidimensionality of our personalities? And for those who double-dip their food photos between their two accounts, just why? Does it make you feel better to know that there are more likes on at least one of the same two food posts? And if you want a separate Instagram just to sort through your food posts, why make it public or go out of your way to advertise it to get a following? Those sorts of things, make them private, since you’re probably just using them to reference certain things you’ve eaten or made in the past. Or just be a less obnoxious human being a make a folder on your computer. Being able to see the different occurrences of your life, through your photos, whether it be a selfie, a photo of a sunset, or a picture of a dish you ate, that sort of variety is a lot more worthwhile if it is true to who you are as a person.

For me, I used to struggle with having that sort of variety at all. I came from the opposite issue, where I was obsessed with food and had literally no other interests. That is why I prefer and cherish that variety. Seeing others revert into something that I personally had to overcome, it’s unsettling to say the least. And for them to expect to be rewarded for that kind of behavior, again, it makes me uneasy knowing how vain or shallow certain people are. Now this blog is dedicated to good vibes, so I want to end this post on a positive note. embrace the different sides of your personality and admire them as a whole. Life is too short to be lived in pieces or compartments. Being able to showcase your interests in a great big mosaic, as opposed to smaller, separate ones, is a lot more impressive and makes you a much more beautiful human being. Don’t let stupid things like followers or likes define who you are as a person or what you are worth to the world.

 

Validation: realization 11

I am a naturally competitive person. I believe that I need to be valued, whether it be by myself or by others. I need to know that I am somebody that other people can care about. And when I feel like other people care less about me than I do about them, it becomes this almost self-inflicted abusive relationship. I keep trying harder to care for them more, because I need to know that they care for me as well. It gets to the point where I really will pour my 200% effort into making sure that I care about those people who don’t reciprocate; it consumes my every thought and action. I used to be that kind of person who would want what they can’t have, especially when it comes to earning somebody I want to care for’s warm thoughts or attention. It all stems from the fact that I have a deep-seated fear about being abandoned and forgotten.
I used to think that it was better to die remembered than live forgotten. It all stems back to my abandonment issues as a kid. Whenever my mom would leave the house, the infant me would start crying, thinking that she was leaving me behind. My father, being so disapproving of me in general, that did not help the whole case of me feeling belonging or loved. I just felt that when people do not like me, I try to make them like me. It was that sort of insecurity that had gotten me into a lot of self-inflicted pain. From an outsider’s perspective, it’s easy to see that I need to be cut away from those kinds of people. But for me, mentally, I get so fixated on trying to be accepted, to receive that validation, that all I can think about is doing what I can to receive it.
It was a really tough lesson for me to learn, but the only person’s approval you need is your own. You need to be the person you want to be, and nobody else should really tell you otherwise. Obviously, there are exceptions, such as being a terrorist, rapist, pedophile, or a serial killer, so don’t go twisting my words, Internet. So besides those and like examples, you really should not have to care about what others say. Be the person you want to be. Find validation in yourself; be proud of what you are doing or the person that you are and don’t feel like you need to prove yourself to other people. Being able to love yourself, and finding that sort of self-approval, that is key to being feather-light.