Healing: dream

Being able to recover from something and move on, it’s a wonderful feeling. The healing process is a vital part in us maturing as human beings. A lot of it starts with forgetting about what it is that hurt us to begin with, specifically that pain. Yet, you still need to keep the lesson learned from whatever hurt you in mind. It could be that certain people are not good people, or be less naive, but whatever the lesson is, know what needs to be learned. Secondly, while keeping that newly learned moral in the back of your head, move on with your life. It might mean cutting off old parts of your life, but you need to do it, or else you could very easily revert to old, harmful habits that could cause you a lot of pain and possibly, cause you to revert to self-inflicting tendencies. That is the biggest emotional hurdle in the healing process is cutting off the past and forgetting about it.

The next part of the healing process is filling your life with new things to replace the old. They don’t have to be similar things. Preferably, they shouldn’t be similar things. Anything that reminds you of your past pain, that’s just asking to be triggered. Being able to do that, it also helps you forget the past a lot easier. You’re able to let go and not think about whatever horrible influences have hurt you. And while cutting off is the biggest challenge emotionally, this part is the most difficult part mentally is putting the past behind you. You are probably used to a certain routine, and you want to revert to it. You probably wouldn’t want to include new things into your life and you yearn for the past. Very few people are naturally good at adapting to and accepting change. And that’s to be expected. We can’t all just be okay to uprooting our daily routines. But being able to accept the change, even in small steps, it helps.

By allowing these new influences into your life, you can expel a lot of the negative emotions that have been burdening you earlier. You stop thinking about those dark thoughts, or about the causes of them. Instead, every day becomes a new opportunity for you to discovery something new about yourself or the world around you. You start to find yourself smiling a lot more, and while you know that this world is a little less wonderful than you remember it being, the parts that are genuinely wonderful that you discover makes that journey worthwhile. Being able to see the good in the world, it’s refreshing. Whether it’s new people, new hobbies, new places, you’ll surprise yourself with how much this world has to offer, despite whatever it was that hurt you in the first place. You stop thinking about the guilt, the pain, the trauma, and it helps you focus on future and what you can do as an individual to make the most of yours.

Being able to completely cast your past behind, it’s not easy. Those wounds from your trauma, they do become scars, but with time, you will forget what exactly gave you those scars exactly, but you will still vaguely remember how you got them, and what you can do to prevent yourself from falling into the same mistake again. The world will no longer feel like a cage or trap confining you, and it will open itself up to you. You are no longer being held down or back by those negative influences and burdens. Instead, you can focus on making the person you see in the mirror somebody you can love more and more. And once you reach that point of loving yourself, don’t stop there. Find new things about the world, and figure out what new things you love as well, and how you can work towards incorporating that newfound passion or interest into your life. With healing, you gain depth and character and that’s a life worth living in this featherlight world.

Perspective: realization 19

Tell me, do the colors brighten your world like they brighten up mine?

These were the lyrics for Painted Heart by Trass. They’re a music company that produces a lot of songs for online RPG-type games, in case you were wondering. This song just reminds me of how the world can be as beautiful a place as it can be hideous. It all depends on our outlook. I spoke about optimism in a previous post, and how it is important to view the world with a cup-half-full sort of mentality. When you see everything with a happy outlook, life does become more enjoyable. You start to see more of what the world has to offer, as opposed to just all of the flaws or obstacles standing in your way. Perspective is such a unique topic, because it is so subjective and personal.

The idea of the world being painted by different colors, these shades representing different emotions, experiences, and outlooks, it’s a really vivid one for me. Let’s imagine you are a young woman on her way back home. You get lost. A man offers to help guide you. Depending on your outlook, you might start seeing that as one of two ways: he’s a nice man, or he’s a shady man. If we add in that you got lost in a dark alleyway at night, you live in the ghetto, and you might be inebriated, then you will most likely begin thinking he must be shady. If I were to say that you get lost in a meadow in the middle of the day, and the man is charming, kind, and was raised by local farmers, then you’ll probably think his intentions are probably more sincere. I painted two different pictures, using the same base story, but with different adjectives to guide your mind and create your perspective.

This idea can be applied to any situation in real life as well. It all depends on how much you are willing to trust others. Perspective really does come with a combination of knowledge, experienece, and how we were raised. It very much is a nurture-based instinct in that we first see things based on our prior memories. I still remember one of my friends. For the sake of anonymity, I will name her Ellen. Ellen has what we millenials refer to as resting bitch face. Because she had that her entire life, she was made fun of and bullied a lot for it. It caused her to have trust issues, especially with other girls, because she feels like they are gossiping about her behind her back. In that sense, this trauma narrowed Ellen’s perspective, because her being bullied has affected how she acts and trusts girls. It’s not poor Ellen’s fault either. She has a right to be wary, because of the rude remarks made about her face. This example just shows how our perspective is dictated by how we were brought up and raised.

Ellen and I are similar in that we both have narrowed pespectives as a result of being bullied. Trust became a difficult thing to do have because we were afraid of becoming vulnerable around somebody who could potentially exploit us. I know we are both trying to undo that sort of trauma, but it takes time. To live a life with a broader perspective means that we can be happier and truly learn to appreciate the company around us. But narrow perspectives come with being competitive, neurotic, pefectionists, or untrusting, all qualities that would describe myself and Ellen. To be able to have a broader perspective would be great. I really want to live in a life where I can see the world in all of it’s beautiful colors, and for it to just warm my heart with experiences and memories yet to be had. Where I can love everything about this world. To have a perspective like that, I truly can become feather-light.